The limit of this feedback loop is when men like all the profiles they saw while women find the perfect match whenever they like somebody. It was not known whether some evolutionarily stable strategy has emerged, nor has Tinder revealed such information. Aided by the text-analysis program Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count, Bruch and Newman discovered that men generally had lower chances of receiving a response after sending more "positively worded" messages. When a man tried to woo a woman more desirable than he was, he received a response 21% of the time; by contrast, when a woman attempted to court a man, she received a reply about half the time. In fact, over 80% of the first messages in the data set obtained for the purposes of the study were from men, and women were highly selective in choosing whom to respond to, a rate of less than 20%. Therefore, studying women's replies yielded much insight into their preferences.

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That’s right. They’ve taken 35 years of research to come up with a Relationship Questionnaire and pride themselves on matching users with people who are actually compatible with them. As executives in the matchmaking industry have commented, the competition for online dating isn’t as much from other apps, but from other kinds of socializing, and different social circles; whether it’s meeting people at a bar, through friends of friends, or on other social platforms online. In my early days of dating online I reckoned that I should give men a chance if I found their messages tedious but their profiles intriguing. “Maybe he’s not just as good at writing as I am,” I’d think. But the ones that I doubted beforehand never turned out to be men I wanted to get to know in person.

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